


Lilac

by themysticalrose



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Friendship, Romance, and how it had everything to do with how she was in love with razz, my take on how mara went crazy, the poor girl just wanted her f/f romcom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 09:16:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19971643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themysticalrose/pseuds/themysticalrose
Summary: You must let go, Mara.You must let go.





	Lilac

**disclaimer:** not mine guys, everything here belongs to Noelle Stevenson. 

**author's notes:** Hi there! Here is my take on how Mara went crazy and why she wasn't able to ~let go. I have looked into descriptions of her character and, from what we've heard from Light Hope and Razz until now, though Mara was loyal and brave, she was also fearful and afraid, and unable to let go of her feelings. But that's what those two think of her, so imagine the turmoil that was inside Mara's head! She's a very interesting character, considering how little information we have of her. So, shout out to Taylor Swift and Hayley Kiyoko for being my soundtrack while I wrote. Enjoy! 

* * *

__

_ You must let go, Mara. _

“You don’t understand. I can’t do this. I love her,” said Mara, desperately trying to make Light Hope understand her feelings. 

“Mara may love her, but She-Ra does not, and that’s who you are from now on,” responded the hologram, impassive. 

“That’s not fair! I never asked for any of this, I never asked to be She-Ra! And now you want me to just forget I had a life before I found that stupid sword? To leave everything behind and become a warrior I never asked to be?” Mara was almost breaking into tears, her voice rising until she was almost screaming. She has never wanted to be a warrior, never wanted to be the wielder of a magical sword; she was lost and terrified at the prospect of being the one responsible for Etheria’s protection, and now Light Hope wanted her to  _ let go.  _

_ You must let go, Mara. The She-Ra cannot be attached to human feelings, otherwise she’s weak-minded and not fitted for the honorable duty of protecting Etheria. _

“The Sword choose you to wield it Mara, and now you must do what’s necessary to do it rightly.”

Light Hope couldn’t understand. She was just a hologram that appeared at Mara’s dreams for weeks before she found the sword, whispering her name and making her feel afraid and confused by the time she woke up. She thought she was losing her mind. But no. She had a fate. A fate of becoming She-Ra, the legendary and powerful warrior princess whose duty was to protect Etheria. Any other girl would’ve felt exhilarated by being the chosen one, but Mara wasn’t. Because Mara was weak, and Mara was a coward, and Mara couldn’t let go of her emotions when they were the only thing that made her feel good and strong. No. She couldn’t let go. 

“I’m not going to be She-ra. Find another girl.”

“That’s not possible,” said Light Hope, moving — better,  _ floating _ — toward where Mara was, the Sword of Protection on her hands, tears in her eyes, pain in her heart, “It is the Sword of Protection’s duty to choose the She-Ra, and if it choose you, it is because it thinks you are capable of  _ your _ duty as the protector of Etheria.”  __

“But I’m not! I’m not and I don’t want to be! I don’t want to let go and I don’t want to fight and I don’t want to be a warrior! And you can’t make me accept a destiny I don’t want to follow.”

And with that, she put the sword on her back and headed toward the Crystal Castle entrance, ignoring Light Hope’s callings for her. 

* * *

Mara walked through the Whispering Woods taking long, deep breaths, trying to calm herself. She didn’t wanted Razz to see her so broken, mainly because the other girl would be able to know exactly how to make Mara tell her everything that was wrong, and she wasn’t ready to let Razz know Light Hope’s requests. 

_ You must let go, Mara.  _

_ You must let go.  _

_ You must - _

“ _ Mara _ !” and then she was being wrapped in a embrace, the smell of berries incredibly disarming. 

“Razz,” she whispers, holding her tightly, almost painfully, and even though Mara knew she wasn’t strong nor a warrior, she was certain that, in that moment, nothing in the world could take that girl from her arms. 

But Razz broke the embrace, taking her hand and guiding her through the forest to their favorite spot. Her hand was solid on Mara’s, her lilac hair bright and soft, and it made Mara think that if she hadn’t a favorite color before, now she had one.  _ Lilac.  _ It looked like the most beautiful color in the world. 

“So, how was your training with Purple Hologram?”, asked Hazz, stopping at the middle of the clearing she and Mara had claimed for themselves, the bright purples, deep greens and soft blues almost like home by now.

“Her name’s Light Hope, you know,” she said, walking toward the First Ones tower on the end of the clearing, trying to avoid the question.

“Purple Hologram suits her more, just saying,” she responded, probably noticing how Mara didn’t give her an answer, but dropping the subject for now. She seated at Mara’s side, their backs on the soft grass, and pointed at the sky:

“What’s your favorite star?”

“I don’t know, they all the same.”

“They’re not! Some of them are brighter than the others. And some are lonely. And some stay always together.”

Mara smiled despite herself. That’s why she loved Razz; she always paid attention to every little detail, was always capable of finding beauty in every single thing. Mara wasn’t like that; she could never see the bright side, never expect to things to be better, but she didn’t need to, because Razz could do it for her. How could she let go of that? Of love and happiness and good? If the Sword choose her to be the She-Ra, surely it could choose someone else. It didn’t matter Light Hope said it wasn’t possible. Mara would try, and she would succeed. Because she wasn’t brave and she wasn’t a fighter, but she was a lover and would do anything to continue on being just that. 

“Mara? Are you sure you okay?” Razz was on her side, her short hair falling on her face, her bracelets and rings shining in the moonlight.” 

“Yeah, yeah, just a little tired. Trained a lot today, Light Hope don’t take it easy on me.”

“And she shouldn’t. You’re gonna be an amazing She-Ra. I know you will,” she seemed so certain of that, like she really thought of Mara as someone strong and just, not a coward who couldn’t put her own egoistic feelings in second place.

“You’d be a better one,” Mara responded, and it was true. 

“Nonsense. You know what? No more She-Ra today. My beloved Mara now, She-Ra later. You okay with that?”

_ I just want to be your beloved Mara forever.  _

“Yes.”

“Want to know  _ my _ favorite star?” 

“Tell me.”

“Okay, so, actually, it’s not one, but two,” Razz started. Blushing a little, she pointed, “So, see those two over there? On the left? Well, that’s us. I mean, not  _ us  _ us, but like, they always together, the stars - and us too - and they remind me of us. Oh shit, now that I said it out loud I feel kind of an idiot, that was really-“

Mara didn’t let her finished; she kissed her. Razz was right, they were like inseparable stars, and Mara was happy she thought like that, because it meant that when Mara told her she had given up on being She-Ra, she wouldn’t be disappointed. Because being She-Ra would mean letting go of Razz, and nothing could pull them apart. 

“My Mara,” Razz said, tracing her cheekbones, and they stayed like that for a long time. 

* * *

“I have made my decision.” 

Mara entered the Crystal Castle that morning with the Sword of Protection on her back and a decision on her mind. 

“I hope it is the right one,” said Light Hope, looking at her with inhuman attention.

“It is.” said Mara, taking the sword on her hands, “I’m not going to be She-Ra anymore. Tell your stupid Sword to choose someone else.”

Light Hope didn’t even blink, “I told you before, but I am going to say it again: you cannot abandon your duty as She-Ra. The Sword of Protection choose you to be the guardian of it’s runestone and to protect all of Etheria. You must fulfill your duty.”

“Enough!” She snapped, “You can’t make me be your She-Ra! It’s not my fault I’m not enough for the job, it’s not my fault I think love is more important than this! In fact, I don’t even feel guilty about it, “ Mara smiled dangerously, her eyes shining, “I don’t care if Etheria falls in disgrace. I don’t give a single fuck about it. I’m not doing it. I’m not going to  _ let go  _ and I’m not going to  _ fulfill my duty  _ as She-Ra. I’ll just forget it ever happened.”

“I do not think this will be possible, Mara,” the hologram said, opening her arms, like she was embracing the world, and suddenly everything around Mara was dark. 

“What do you mean? What’s this? Light Hope, come back!” 

Mara tightened her hold on the sword, turning around even though she could see nothing. And the it exploded; she saw all of Etheria, burning. There was fire everywhere, the Whispering Woods was almost all ash. She saw the other runestones, the ones that belonged to the princesses, all of them broken into a million pieces. She heard screams and she could swear she smelled the smoke, but it wasn't over; she was on a clearing, thought she didn’t know where at first. But then she saw it; The First Ones tower, its pieces scattered on the ground. Mara walked forward, feeling like there was something inside her ribcage piercing needles on her heart. There was berries scattered across the ground, and she was about to scream for Light Hope when she caught sight of something reflecting on the ground near the pieces of the tower. The pressure on Mara’s chest was unbearably painful by now, and when she gave another step forward the pieces of the tower and saw the lilac hair amongst the destroyed building, the world stopped. She didn’t scream, didn’t even cry. She just stopped everything. Mara couldn’t tell when she screamed  _ For the honor of Grayskull!  _ or when she sliced the air with the sword, the only thing on her mind was that she  _ had to get out of here.  _ She walked blindly through the woods - she couldn’t remember when she left the castle, surely Light Hope wouldn’t have let her go so easily, would she?

_ Let her go. _

_ You must let go.  _

_ You must let go.  _

Mara couldn’t  _ think _ . That wasn’t true. That wasn’t true. Light Hope was playing with her mind, trying to convince her that she to play her role as She-Ra at all costs. She shouldn’t let something like that affect her so much. But it did. It did. Because what if it  _ was _ true. What if Mara ended up losing Razz anyway? Would she really end up alone and heartbroken and weak anyway? Would she really need to give up on everything? It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair. She just wanted to be happy, to love and be loved. She wished she’d never found that sword. Wished it didn’t exist at all. The Sword was going to be her undoing, one way or another. 

She stopped at the edge of a cliff, her white, flowing She-Ra hair like waves behind her back. She looked at Etheria, the planet she had been chosen to protect, the planet she had grown up in, the planet the love of her life lived and loved. And she hated it. She hated every inch of it. Mara fell on her knees, taking the sword with her.

_ You must let go, Mara. _

_ You must let go.  _

And so did she. 


End file.
